Jay Leno Quotes

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.

John Belushi Quotes

I guess happiness is not a state you want to be in all the time.

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

Larry The Cable Guy Quotes

Here are just a few quotes from the very funny Larry The Cable Guy...

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

Ben Stiller Quotes

I think most politicians could take a dodgeball in the face.

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

Even when I'm not directing, that doesn't stop Owen from having ideas for what I should be doing.